Today has been one of those days. I might just be hormonal, but I'm also feeling impatient, and cranky and just plain exhausted. I'm running on like 2 hours of sleep so please forgive my extreme crankiness. I feel like everything with my brother has really opened my eyes to what is really important to me. I want so badly to be back in Oklahoma. Today's one of those days when I'm just ready to be there. I'm ready to start our life for real. I want to be with our families. I want to own a home, have a yard, a big kitchen, and a mailbox and a garage and I want a neighborhood to take Piper on walks and I just want all of that now. Ha? Do I sound greedy yet? I want to be content where we are right now in this moment, but today it's especially hard.
These past 7 months in Amarillo, God has really been teaching me patience, and showing me (especially lately) that my plans are not better than his. It took me almost 6 months to find a good job here. It took us a few months to build good quality relationships. I'm learning now, more than ever, that everything is better in His timing. Tonight I pray for my attitude, and for a calmer heart. I pray that my impatience would be replaced with faithfulness. Whether we get back to Oklahoma in 3 years or 3 months, I pray that my attitude remains faithful and that my crankiness will go back to where it came from. I'm forever thankful that my life is shared with Dylan, and more than wanting to be in Oklahoma, I want to be right next to him. I wouldn't go through this with anyone else. We make each other laugh, all day every day. He's my bff, my partner in crime. I never thought I could love someone so much, or that marriage would be so fun. I just have a case of the "wants" today. I hope everyone else has a better attitude than I do this evening. Tomorrow is Friday, and that is always something to be thankful for. :)
Showing posts with label I just might be hormonal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I just might be hormonal. Show all posts
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
Home Sweet Home?...
I've been such a bad blogger lately. It's just so hard to come up with things to talk about when I have basically nothing new going on. There are only so many laundry/dishes blogs I can write about. Hopefully soon that will change. I'm in desperate need of change. :)
Yesterday as I went to go pay our rent I came to the realization that next month is our last rent check due on this lease. How crazy is that? We are on month five of this crazy journey. I can't even begin to handle how fast this has gone by. As much as I hate living in Texas, (& so desperately want to be back in Oklahoma) I still can't believe we're almost to the sixth month point. Not to say we're leaving after sixth months, I mean my goodness, only God knows, we'll probably be here much longer.
It just makes me think back to October, right after Dylan and I got married, and he called me frantic to see if I wanted to move to Texas for his job. Our first HUGE decision as a newly married couple. Who was I to say no? I would go anywhere to pursue his dream with him. I think back to December, coming here with my mom and Dylan to look for a potential home for us, and after a ton of disappointment, we found an apartment similar to our previous one, and went with a sixth month lease. At the time, all I remember thinking is, "I can do anything for sixth months"... and I can. I will.
Amarillo is SO not what I thought it would be. We're making good friends, and everyone at Dylan's news station has been more than wonderful to the two of us. It's been such a huge adjustment, and I think I'm finally starting to consider this our home. Not a permanent home, but our home. I think for so long I didn't want to admit to the fact that we live in Texas. Not even a cool part of Texas, but Amarillo, Texas. I kept telling myself it was temporary, and although I still feel that way... We do live here. We have an address, and a new church, and new friends. It's real. We live here. I'm glad my home is with Dylan, still the best decision I ever made. :)
* Off to a quilt show for 8 days. I'll be back with blogs from Mother's Day, and my week of adventures. Get ready! ;)
Yesterday as I went to go pay our rent I came to the realization that next month is our last rent check due on this lease. How crazy is that? We are on month five of this crazy journey. I can't even begin to handle how fast this has gone by. As much as I hate living in Texas, (& so desperately want to be back in Oklahoma) I still can't believe we're almost to the sixth month point. Not to say we're leaving after sixth months, I mean my goodness, only God knows, we'll probably be here much longer.
It just makes me think back to October, right after Dylan and I got married, and he called me frantic to see if I wanted to move to Texas for his job. Our first HUGE decision as a newly married couple. Who was I to say no? I would go anywhere to pursue his dream with him. I think back to December, coming here with my mom and Dylan to look for a potential home for us, and after a ton of disappointment, we found an apartment similar to our previous one, and went with a sixth month lease. At the time, all I remember thinking is, "I can do anything for sixth months"... and I can. I will.
Amarillo is SO not what I thought it would be. We're making good friends, and everyone at Dylan's news station has been more than wonderful to the two of us. It's been such a huge adjustment, and I think I'm finally starting to consider this our home. Not a permanent home, but our home. I think for so long I didn't want to admit to the fact that we live in Texas. Not even a cool part of Texas, but Amarillo, Texas. I kept telling myself it was temporary, and although I still feel that way... We do live here. We have an address, and a new church, and new friends. It's real. We live here. I'm glad my home is with Dylan, still the best decision I ever made. :)
* Off to a quilt show for 8 days. I'll be back with blogs from Mother's Day, and my week of adventures. Get ready! ;)
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