Thursday, July 22, 2010

One of those days...

Today has been one of those days. I might just be hormonal, but I'm also feeling impatient, and cranky and just plain exhausted. I'm running on like 2 hours of sleep so please forgive my extreme crankiness. I feel like everything with my brother has really opened my eyes to what is really important to me. I want so badly to be back in Oklahoma. Today's one of those days when I'm just ready to be there. I'm ready to start our life for real. I want to be with our families. I want to own a home, have a yard, a big kitchen, and a mailbox and a garage and I want a neighborhood to take Piper on walks and I just want all of that now. Ha? Do I sound greedy yet? I want to be content where we are right now in this moment, but today it's especially hard.

These past 7 months in Amarillo, God has really been teaching me patience, and showing me (especially lately) that my plans are not better than his. It took me almost 6 months to find a good job here. It took us a few months to build good quality relationships. I'm learning now, more than ever, that everything is better in His timing. Tonight I pray for my attitude, and for a calmer heart. I pray that my impatience would be replaced with faithfulness. Whether we get back to Oklahoma in 3 years or 3 months, I pray that my attitude remains faithful and that my crankiness will go back to where it came from. I'm forever thankful that my life is shared with Dylan, and more than wanting to be in Oklahoma, I want to be right next to him. I wouldn't go through this with anyone else. We make each other laugh, all day every day. He's my bff, my partner in crime. I never thought I could love someone so much, or that marriage would be so fun. I just have a case of the "wants" today. I hope everyone else has a better attitude than I do this evening. Tomorrow is Friday, and that is always something to be thankful for. :)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Somebody Got a Haircut...

While we were in Oklahoma this past week, Piper and I got our hair done. Her's is much trickier than mine, because my favorite time of her hair is the halfway point between being groomed and being outgrown. I love when she's scruffy and cutesy, but I can't handle it when it's in her face. Then it begins getting matted, so I take her to get groomed, but when it's just been groomed it's too short. Someone tell me what the heck to do. I'm having serious problems with this.



Ugh. What's a girl to do...

Monday, July 19, 2010

Only 58 More Days...

I went home last Tuesday to be there for my brother's senior pictures, and for his chemo treatment he had on Thursday, and to just be there in general to support my family. Little did I know, I would be the one taking his pictures. Ha! I am by no means a photographer, but I was an art major in college and love to play with photography and editing pictures. I don't know what is right or wrong, I just know what I like to look at :) Here are some of my favorites.

I'd like to know when he got so handsome and grown up?

Thursday he had his first long chemo treatment. We were in the hospital for 13 hours. Here is me and Jason, I'm wearing my brother's jacket. It was freeeezing in there. Since my brother is only 17 & not 18 he is treated at the Children's Hospital. I had such a heavy heart that day looking at all of the little children who are struggling with something that is probably a terminal illness. My heart ached for this one family in particular who had a small daughter, probably not more than 2 years old. She had her hospital bracelet attached to her ankle, and had a diaper on and would just walk the halls with her mom and dad. It broke my heart to know that I've spent so many days being so upset that my brother was the one diagnosed with this, when I should have been thankful that he's 17. He's going to be just fine. He has the whole rest of his life to live, and only three rounds of chemo and not four or five, or years worth for that matter. We spent our 13 hour day laughing and playing Chinese Checkers, watching movies and eating homemade chex-mix. It was quite the event. I'm glad it's over.
My brother has shown me the kind of strength I hope to have one day. He hasn't complained or gotten sick yet. Today is the fourth day after his chemo, and for the most part he's been so great. He had friends stay the night last night, so he can't be feeling too bad. He has slept a lot, and only asked for nausea medicine twice. I know that God works wonders and has been laying his healing hand on my brother. I also know he's young and his body can handle things and tackle them quickly. We have 58 more days of this cancer treatment stuff, and here's to hoping the fly by! :)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Sillybandz & Oklahoma...

This week at school we are closed due to VBS. There aren't enough classrooms to do both VBS & MDO, so we get the week off! It couldn't have been better timing. My brother starts chemo this week, so I will get to be there for his first chemo session. He's also getting his senior pictures done and we both have hair cuts scheduled. Holy cow I couldn't be in a bigger need for this! I'm so excited! I might even get Piper groomed too, so we're all clean cut and pretty. :) I couldn't be more ready to be home for another few days. I feel so out of the loop with everything, I can't wait to spend time with my family. I just wish Dylan was coming with me. He's filling in for a radio show this week and next week is News Channel 10's Summer Celebration tour, so he won't get a day off for like 14 days. So instead of rushing a trip home, he'll stay in Texas and enjoy two full free days without his girls. I'm sure he'll miss us, but it will be good for him to get to fully relax and gear up for the next couple of weeks.

Other than that, nothing too new is going on. The weather has been great here. I'm thankful for all of the rain we've been getting, but it makes me happy to see the sunshine again!

On another note- I got sillybandz.

Ha! But seriously, I did. Me and my friend Maxine went on a hunt yesterday, and finally chose our favorites. I'm sure my three year olds will appreciate that! Dylan even wears one! {I realize we're really mature.} ;) Hope everyone is enjoying their Sunday! Tomorrow's another big day in our house, feel free to send up a prayer for us. :)

Friday, July 9, 2010

A Friday Full of Praises!!...

So basically the last week has absolutely changed my life. I can't tell you how quickly and how long this week has felt like it has lasted. It's outrageous. Today, the same day last week that I thought my world was crumbling down, Jason finished the last of his first set of surgeries/tests.

Can I just brag for a second? He is being so mature right now. I can't even handle it. He's an entirely new kid, almost as if Cancer has turned him into a man. (weird.) He isn't complaining, he is just ready to buckle up-conquer it and become a Cancer survivor. I couldn't be more proud of him. I was just telling Dylan how if I were in his position, I feel quite certain I would milk it for all it was worth. ;) Ha! Maybe not, but I'm sure I'd be milking it more than he is. He however has just done it. He isn't complaining. He's been probed at and picked at, and cut into, and blood drawn and has been given words I can't even pronounce to explain what he's going through, he has had to wake up early and not eat all day, and be hooked up to machines for entirely too long. And you want to know his main concern? He is sleepy. :) He's thankful he gets to sleep in these next couple of days. He's got a hair cut scheduled and senior pictures the day after that, and then Thursday he starts chemo for a 9 week treatment. (HUGE PRAISE it isn't 12!) He doesn't have to do radiation. (HUGE PRAISE!). And there's huge hopes that he'll be back and feel better than ever by Fall break and finish his senior year even stronger than before. I just love him so much and never thought I would feel this proud of him. He's quite the trooper. :)

This next week is going to be one step closer to the finish line of this whole Cancer process. Thank you so much for your prayers, and for thinking of us during this time. I can't say enough how blessed and thankful we are.

Nooow just for fun, do any of you watch Big Brother? It started last night, and I couldn't be more excited for this season. I love this show. Any guesses on the saboteur?! Ha! Dylan and I are suspicious of Brittany, the little country blonde. We shallllll see! :)

Monday, July 5, 2010

Back to life, back to reality...

So Friday, when we found out about my brother having cancer, I took several hours and cried my eyes out for not being there. And then I thought to myself -"What the heck are you doing here? Go home!" So I hurried and scatterbrainly (is that a word? Oh well.) packed myself a bag, grabbed Piper and a toy and was on my way. Probably not the safest way to head home, but I wanted to be there. And fast. So I was home until Sunday. (Thanks mom!) It was so wonderful to spend family time, but also made me more sad for not being there more often. I hate missing things with family. Even if it's a simple as a movie date, or a dinner or a birthday party, if I'm not there I just feel like I'm missing precious moments that I'm so lucky to have. So obviously missing things like Dr.'s appointments, and just dropping in to bring my brother a Route 44 grape slush (his favorite Sonic drink) are especially hard on my heart. Living in Amarillo has suddenly become all the more real that I'm not in Oklahoma anymore. I can't just be there in 20 minutes. It's so great we're only four hours away, but that's still two tanks of gas - it's close enough, but still so far away. It's times like these that make me so excited for Dylan and I to work in Oklahoma again. I'm ready to not miss moments like this.

Today Jason had his first appointment with the pediatric oncologist, he'll most likely start chemo as early as next week. Please if you would, say a little prayer for him. I'm not sure how it will be next week, but I know the power of prayer in numbers. I just pray for his doctors as well as him. I pray that he heals quickly and that the effects of the chemo will be something he can handle. Thank you for your kind words and support. I can't tell you enough how much it makes my heart smile.

Also, my mom set up a CaringBridge website on behalf of my brother. She will keep everyone up to date on all the outcomes of the appointments and things like that. If you're interested feel free to stop by here and leave them a sweet comment. :) I know it would make them happy.

Onnnnn a lighter note, (& because I hate posts without pictures...) Piper is by far the BEST car rider I've ever seen in my whole life. She loves car rides and they just put her straight to sleep! She will just cuddle or curl up and be out like a light for as long as you need her to be. She is so wonderful. :)

Saturday, July 3, 2010


Yesterday, July 2nd, we found out my 17 year old baby brother has cancer.

Quite a large pill to swallow, huh?

It's been a huge eye opener to me. In my family alone, cancer is no stranger. My Grandmother and Aunt had breast cancer, and are now survivors. My Mother in law had breast cancer, and is now a survivor. It is only a matter of time before I add my sweet brother to my list of heroes.

He will be a cancer survivor as well. I know it.

He has Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Which is a fairly common form of cancer in the lymph nodes. Although, the form he has is rare. Only 5% of the people who are diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma have what he has. They caught it early. He will beat this.

We won't find out what his treatment will be until early next week. He will have several tests done and will meet with a pediatric oncologist on Tues. I ask that any of you that read my blog please pray for my brother & our family. I know that God is going to carry him through this and do amazing things for Jason. I know in the Bible it says that when two or more people come together before the Lord that He will answer. Thank you in advance for lifting up my family in your prayers.

I don't know what the future holds for us, but I have this sense of peace over me. I know he's going to be okay. I know God doesn't give us things we can't handle. As much as I'd love to question why, I just can't. I'm trusting that God knows what he's doing far better than I ever could. I know that Jason will do what is necessary to beat this. I also know that even though this is a huge deal, there are far more difficult things that people have to deal with every day. Today I pray for all the families out there that are struggling with similar (if not worse) situations.

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:10