Today has been one of those days. I might just be hormonal, but I'm also feeling impatient, and cranky and just plain exhausted. I'm running on like 2 hours of sleep so please forgive my extreme crankiness. I feel like everything with my brother has really opened my eyes to what is really important to me. I want so badly to be back in Oklahoma. Today's one of those days when I'm just ready to be there. I'm ready to start our life for real. I want to be with our families. I want to own a home, have a yard, a big kitchen, and a mailbox and a garage and I want a neighborhood to take Piper on walks and I just want all of that now. Ha? Do I sound greedy yet? I want to be content where we are right now in this moment, but today it's especially hard.
These past 7 months in Amarillo, God has really been teaching me patience, and showing me (especially lately) that my plans are not better than his. It took me almost 6 months to find a good job here. It took us a few months to build good quality relationships. I'm learning now, more than ever, that everything is better in His timing. Tonight I pray for my attitude, and for a calmer heart. I pray that my impatience would be replaced with faithfulness. Whether we get back to Oklahoma in 3 years or 3 months, I pray that my attitude remains faithful and that my crankiness will go back to where it came from. I'm forever thankful that my life is shared with Dylan, and more than wanting to be in Oklahoma, I want to be right next to him. I wouldn't go through this with anyone else. We make each other laugh, all day every day. He's my bff, my partner in crime. I never thought I could love someone so much, or that marriage would be so fun. I just have a case of the "wants" today. I hope everyone else has a better attitude than I do this evening. Tomorrow is Friday, and that is always something to be thankful for. :)
Thursday, July 22, 2010
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I have days like these all the time. Are you guys thinking of moving back soon? I'll be praying for you. Starting over is hard, but it can also be such a blessing!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate Em. We have been looking at grad schools in other states, and it scares me so much to think of moving away. I just try to keep in mind that everything happens for a reason. We are where we are for a purpose. When we have family crisis, it makes it even harder. I can't imagine how you feel not being here. But at least you are still close. You can get in the car and drive here in a few hours. Keep your head up. Things will change when they are meant to. Until then embrace every moment you have with your hubby. This is your time.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys. :) I know it won't last forever. I'm already practically over it. I just have days where I just want to complain for a second. Ha!
ReplyDeleteRebekah, We always want to but it's completely dependent on Dylan's job. Since he's in sports there are only 10 sports guys in Oklahoma City and about a bajillion that want to be one. So when it's his turn, we will jump on the chance. Now we're just enjoying this time in Texas while he gets better and better and pray for an opportunity. :)